I am writing to share a very private journey that I have been on, one that is increasingly being asked to be shared.
As most of you know, my dreamtime has been one of my primary learning spaces since my first opening to Spirit when I was ten. In the past 26 years I have received profound lessons from teachers, both in-body and in spirit form, and many spaces in between. I have been told through these more spirit-active dreams, that one of my functions is as a “dreamer” and that this is part of my magic. I write this as a preface to emphasize the feeling of significance and direct communication I felt through one of my more recent dreamtime encounters. On January 21st, I dream-traveled to a home in what I believe to be current day Wyoming. I was surrounded by six healers and holy people of native american descent. I was presented with an eagle flute whose holes had been filled with silver. I was told that this flute was a gift of sight and that it needed to be used with ultimate integrity and good intentions. I made a speech, expressing my deep humility and gratitude, vowing to devote myself to the holy use of this gift. Not long after, as I was preparing to leave, I was approached by a “Seer”, she placed her right hand on my left shoulder and looked deeply into my eyes. She took a small step back and said that there would be a car accident and that I was going to die. She said it was “not soon and not far”. I burst into tears, immediately thinking of my beautiful children and the grief that fills a mother’s heart at the very thought of leaving her dear ones so early. I was told that I was being given this information as a gift, an opportunity to change the way I was living and prepare my loved ones in a positive way. I asked if there was anything I could do to change the course of this ending, and I was told no. If we knowingly try to avoid our fate we only entangle more people into meeting these fateful contracts. I began to tell this woman about my friend Peter who died a year and half ago in a car crash and she helped me to process this. She spoke to Peter who is a watchful spirit for me and I felt a good deal of comfort from his unseen presence.
With all that said, it is not completely clear to me whether this dream is pointing me towards a shamanic death or a full physical death, but what is clear is that my guidance wants me to digest and fully process the information as real and imminent . What I have gleaned from guidance is that all our evolution as spirits happens here on the physical plane and all that we do not heal and transmute into wisdom, is carried on into our next form. The time for healing and change is always only Now. And yet we live in a time where we buffer our fear of death and chaos with the illusion that we are infinite within these finite forms and we are not. We hope and wish for no tragedies to befall on us our our loved ones, and yet as humans, we are aware that we will all die. I have found myself give into the resistance and avoid the areas of growth that I am afraid of, and now I find myself unwilling to wait any longer. I want to be fully present in each moment, suck the marrow of life, and turn steadily towards hope and towards change, even when its painful.
I want to live as if I could die today and hope as if my dreams could reach forward forever.
So here is one of my oldest dreams, one that spirit has been urging me to turn towards now.
Coming this May, from the 1st to the 13th I will travel from Chicago to New Orleans with my whole family facilitating sacred circles along the way.
Drum roll please . . . .
In cities between Chicago to New Orleans I will facilitate gatherings of individuals who are interested and willing to look suffering in the face and emerge through the veil of fear to a place of hope for all the light being birthed in our world right now. Through guided journey meditation, sound, storytelling and art making, we will explore the root of what keeps us from being fully manifested beings of light.
Each participant will be gifted with a hope-charged crystal and invited to take these back to their homes and plant it there or at a sacred spot of their choosing. I am looking for collaborators to help me seed a grid of light across this great land, this part of the earth that has suffered so much death, grief, hatred, and fear. I envision that this web of hopeful intentions can help to facilitate a shift of consciousness to a place where anything is possible. To this I devote my life and my death. If I should die in the near future, my hope is that the immense amount of energy released when my soul is separated form my body will be fed into this web and that they power can help this shift along.
I ask you now, as I do in the case of my death, to not allow sadness to be trapped in your heart. I was instructed in a subsequent dream, to have a “loose heart” and allow these emotions to flow in and out with ease, and I ask the same of you, my beloveds.
Life is a Gift
You are a gift
I am a gift
Let us have the strength to use the gift of this moment wisely
If you feel called to host one of these Hope Seed Circles, please let me know.
They will be open to as many as a space can hold and will be offered by open donation.
My greatest love and gratitude to each and every one of you.
I have been truly blessed to have had the opportunity to love you and be a part of your story, as you have been part of mine.
Sent on January 31st, 2016